Sometimes you just know where you were.

I was in my super-small apartment on Greystone watching a memorial service.  Sure, it was my birthday, but one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given.

Yes, while watching a funeral.

Golfer Payne Stewart, just days before, died in a tragic plane crash.

Paul Azinger, former pro and current golf analyst for ABC/ESPN, repeated a phrase throughout his eulogy.

“Only God can do that … because only God can change hearts.”

I have never been a big golf fan.  I love the beauty of the greens and fairway, the uniqueness of course or hole, the lay of the land, the danger of the sands and rough, the mind of a golfer.

But that day, I became a Payne Stewart fan. Azinger, too.

Stewart’s life parallels what I see often within the Gathering.

His widow, Tracey, wrote a best-selling biography about him.  She didn’t write with rose-colored glasses.

She clearly communicated the lack of commitment in his faith until the last few years of his life.

He joined a group of guys from his Orlando (home office of the Gathering) church weekly for “fellowship,” as he called it.  They may have watched a game together, taken in a fishing trip, prayed, study God’s word, whatever, they were together, and shaping each other, by God’s grace.

Azinger nailed it.  You can’t be apart of seeing lives changed, until you are a changed life.  Stewart impacted many, because he allowed God to be the center of that process of remodeling.

Come hear Michael Franzese’s powerful and unique story of “a changed life” on Tuesday, Sept. 21 for our 3^rd Annual Outreach Breakfast.

Where do you need to experience an “only God can do that” touch in your life this week?  He’s willing and able.

It’s been awhile since I pulled one of these out.  Love the simplicity of twitter.  When it works, it works well.  140 characters or less, to stop me, you and say WOW.

Less often is more.  I need great concise thoughts that hit a home run, that lead me to dream, be inspired, move to action and want to reflect.

Here goes again …. enjoy and take in! – JP

~~~

@MansfieldWrites ~ Three words for the season now upon us: deepen, simplify, diversify.

@donmilleris ~ It’s taken two years but I no longer think of the church as any specific group. Me and my friends are just part of “it”.

@drmoore ~ When, while working on your mouth, your dentist says, “This reminds me of our mission trips to Appalachia,” that is not a good sign.

@drewbrees ~ Can i even tell you how special it was to see our wounded warriors at Walter Reed today. So many brave troops sacrificing for their country

@markbatterson ~ loving the wide open spaces in wyoming. unclutters the soul. opens the mind. renews the heart.

@RickWarren ~ Jesus said pray “THY WILL be done on earth as it is in heaven” because it is done PERFECTLY in heaven but RARELY on earth.

@sportsguy33 ~ Finally on You Tube: Antonio Cromartie tries to remember the names and ages of his 8 kids. http://tinyurl.com/23pzv2l

@MansfieldWrites ~ Three difficult truths about Obama: He is not a Muslim. He is a very liberal Christian. He is skeptical of evangelicals.

@TonyDungy ~ My latest post… Folks say I’m approachable… – A lot of people tell me that I am very approachable. Really, I think… http://ow.ly/18wo9n

By John C. Maxwell

(See link: http://www.giantimpact.com/articles/read/acting_against_discouragement/)

It’s hard to imagine a time when Samuel L. Jackson wasn’t an A-List celebrity, but twenty years ago he was a frustrated, little-known actor who couldn’t seem to breakthrough. Despite his prodigious talents, as of his 41st birthday Jackson could claim nothing more notable than a few minor cameos. Intensely discouraged, he turned to cocaine and quickly developed a dependency on the drug. Within a year, he hit rock bottom. When his wife and eight-year old daughter discovered him passed out on the kitchen floor, there was no denying that he had lost control.

After finding Jackson unconscious, his wife LaTanya immediately checked him into a rehabilitation clinic. For the first time, Samuel L. Jackson was forced to face up to his anger and discouragement, and he began to make life changes. To his credit, Jackson submitted himself to the recovery process, and with the encouragement of his family, he was able to break his addiction. Less than twelve months later, he finally achieved stardom for his supporting role in Jungle Fever. From then on, his reputation grew steadily, and his career flourished. Today, he is regarded as one of Hollywood’s finest and hardest-working actors.

What can we learn from Samuel L. Jackson’s journey?

No one is immune to discouragement.

Regardless of your personality, potential, or position you will encounter discouragement at some point in life.

Our response to discouragement holds the key to our future.

I’ve noted two types of people in the world: splatters and bouncers. When splatters hit the bottom they land with a thud and stick like glue. No matter what you try to say and do, there’s no use trying to pick up a splatter who has fallen flat. Bouncers on the other hand, pull themselves together and rebound after hitting the bottom. Give them a little bit of encouragement, and they will ride it back up to the top.

Everyone who falters has a choice: are you going to get up or give up? The difference between the splatters and bouncers lies in their attitude. Splatters bemoan their fate and blame others for their problems. Bouncers learn from their failures and find supporters to help them recover.

Our influence can be pivotal in rescuing others from self-destructive discouragement.

Imagine if Samuel L. Jackson had not been married, or if the people who cared about him had not intervened on his behalf. He might never have checked into rehab, he might never have beaten his drug addiction, and the world might never have been entertained by his acting. Thankfully for Jackson, he was surrounded by people who loved him and encouraged him as he recovered from substance abuse.

In leadership, inevitably you will cross paths with someone who is downtrodden. When you do, your encouragement can be a lifeline to save them from spiraling into self-destructive despair. Here’s how you can counteract discouragement:

1) Guide Them to the Right Perspective

People who are discouraged oftentimes seem trapped under a black raincloud. Everywhere they turn appears to be dark, and they cannot see rays of light anywhere. As a leader, you can point to the positives and help them to keep hope alive. In additional, you can assist the discouraged person in properly interpreting setbacks. Remind them that just because they experienced failure doesn’t mean they are a failure.

2) Connect Them to the Right People

You may encounter people whom you have limited ability to encourage because you can’t relate to their area of discouragement. For instance, if you’ve never been in sales, it can be hard to cheer up a dispirited salesperson. However, within your network, you may know someone who has undergone similar frustrations in sales and would be glad to share some encouragement from his or her experience.

Also, the depth of someone’s discouragement may necessitate professional assistance. In the middle of his drug addiction, Samuel L. Jackson didn’t need a pep talk from a buddy as much as he needed medical care and attention from a licensed counselor. Sometimes the best service you can do for someone who has hit rock bottom is to persuade him or her to get help.

3) Restore Them with the Right Words

Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones, at one time the greatest heart surgeon in England, says this in his excellent work, Spiritual Depression, It’s Cause and Cure: “Most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself rather than talking to yourself.” Think about it. When you’re discouraged, you wake up in the morning and right away, there are streams of thought coming into your mind. You haven’t invited them; you didn’t ask for them; you are not consciously doing anything to produce them; they just come! They start talking to you.

As a leader, you can help people filter unfounded fears and unwarranted worries from their inner dialogue. After doing so, you have the opportunity to speak affirming and encouraging words that can take the place of negative thoughts. Once people change their thinking, their attitudes and actions eventually follow.

I will shift where my thoughts were going this week based on life lessons.

Starting Monday and continuing til Saturday (as I write this), I’ve had the need to ask for forgiveness a minimum of four times.

I had to get clean through brokenness with one of my pastors, a mentor friend, a woman I greatly respect, and a man involved in a Gathering Locker Room, each this week.

I will compete with the Apostle Paul when I get to heaven for the title, “chief of all sinners.” (I Timothy 1:15).

• Has it made this week more challenging?  Yes.
• Have I looked in the mirror and at my heart more deeply? Yes.
• Do I feel more like a kid, than a 40-year old man? Yes.
• Has it been a good thing? Still yes.

And in the midst of some darkness in my heart, I find actually I’m more a man than before.

Men ask for forgiveness.  Men seek humility at all cost.  If forgiveness teaches us anything, it draws us into the classroom of meekness.

I see more and more, I’m far from a finished product.  Praise God! We can’t forgive or approach humility until we understand how greatly, deeply and fully we have been forgiven.

Now, I’m never going to encourage doing something dumb or sinful, for the sake of receiving pardon and grace. Wisdom doesn’t prevail there.

I’ve had many growth opportunities this week. Will I need forgiveness again in the future?  Definitely.  From those same people?  Certainly.

Will I be better for it, each and every time?  Yes.

Where do you see the winsome connection between humility and forgiveness?

How about busyness equaling how someone is doing?

Often today, you, I, we, everyone is too busy, so busy, crazy busy, overwhelmingly busy, and the like.

If person A has a full calendar and person B doesn’t, we know who most of us think is more important.  I go through seasons where I like to write about specific topics:

• humility
• taking responsbility
• the kingdom of God
• leadership
• unity
• wisdom
• … and more

Lately, I’ve been intrigued by our obsession with how busy we are.  Like John Rosemond, parenting expert, I think we are creating future generations who will be more obsessed with being the prototypical chicken with its head cut off.

Isn’t this craziness?

What are your thoughts?  What do you think of people who are busy?  Can we be too busy?  Not busy enough?  Is God impressed with how busy we are?

Give me your thoughts, and maybe we can explore this topic together.

Arthur Fonzarelli (The Fonz/Fonzie) on rare occasion – when he was inaccurate – would say “I was wrrrr…” Some time would pass, and he would try again, “I wasssss wwwrrr…”

He could not muster the fortitude to admit when he fell short.

Humility didn’t fit him too well. If our day and age cries out, it cries out for fame, for self-promotion, for more than Andy Warhol’s 15 minutes.

All the while, we destroy ourselves and our relationships.

I preached at Urbana Methodist recently and my sermons was entitled “The Sad American Dream.”  By definition ”The American Dream” — the term was introduced in 1931 by James Truslow Adams — speaks to us making much of self.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is about making much of Him. Earth, we have a problem!

This is sin, in essence, or actually in full embodiment.

Pride is the root of all sin. 

• I know better than God.
• I trust me, more than I trust Him.
• He doesn’t have my best interests in mind.
• I must be in control.

I know where I fall short. There is not a day that goes by, when I don’t recognize as the early disciples and followers of Jesus did, that “He must increase, I must decrease.”

I see three ways (and there are much more, but that’s for later) where folks struggle relationally and humility is a direct result as to why.

Minimal Teammates = They tend to play or fly solo.  Solo sports better suit them, because team sports hinder, hold back.  Or maybe they hinder and hold back.  They don’t play well in the sandbox.
Lifeless Words = Encouragement is not found coming from their mouths. They live in fear of building others up, because that may cost them.
Lowly Tasks = Jobs that are seen below them are for someone else. Why do what someone beneath them can do.

If you lack humility, you’ll struggle in those three areas.  Your roles, relationships, and words will speak to this.

And you certainly, will struggle, saying when you are “wwwrrrrr…” 

I mentioned this to a young man, I was meeting w/ today, because his pastor thought I could help him with his search for work.

I talked about personal branding, and related it to Chick-Fil-A.

I think of …

• 2M2N – second mile is second nature\
• Eat Mor Chikin (and that clever misspelling that I remember well)
• SEC Football (yes, the Tennessee football side of me comes out)
• “My pleasure” – the phrase that CFA seems to have coined, that always makes me feel served and with a touch of joy
• Great leadership from top-to-bottom – Dan Cathy has followed his father, Truett, very well, and more on that in a bit…
• Quality food and quality, teaching kids’ toys
• Christian music being played throughout my stay there

Back to quality leadership.  Had a good hour with the Dayton operator of a few stores yesterday.

Once again, quality, quality, quality.

I couldn’t be low guy on the totem pole there, during that 11-1 lunch rush, and Jason was just calm and cool and is certainly a Carpe Diem man there, and then some.

Kudos to Jason. Kudos to Dan. Kudos to showing us how great a model business can be for your own and your customers. You do create “stark raving fans.”

But we rarely see it, and it can even be a tough word to spell.

Humility. Not humidity … us Ohioans experience that often.

This topic so important, I’m going to hold court on it for the next several weeks.

Humility to me is clearly seen in William Temple’s famous quote. “Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all.”

One prayer I effort to pray often is “God, give me the grace to see myself for who I am, and the grace to see You for who You are.”

When that happens and God responds accordingly, I can’t be anything other than humble.  As in, utmost humility.

I am nothing, and He’s everything and He fills in that gap.

John 15:4-5 speaks well to this – “⁴Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. ⁵“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Why has LeBron James approval rating fallen so dramatically, more than even recent presidents?  People could have gotten past him leaving Cleveland, but his seeming arrogance.  Sure ESPN aided him.  Charles Barkley was tough on him, on NBC today.  ESPN took many shots at him and “The Decision” on the recent ESPYs.

We don’t have to look to DC, Hollywood, or to any other venue of high profile leaders and public figures, to see where humility is missing.  More and more, it’s become too common in the body of Christ.

Literary Nobel winner George Bernard Shaw went so far as to say, “The churches must learn humility as well as teach it.”

Can we argue with him? We’ll explore this obsolete characteristic much more in coming weeks.

But more importantly, He uses it.

I’m amazed how much God uses music to speak to me, and us.  It’s such a powerful tool and medium.

I respect musicians, their gifts and use of them, since I have none.  OK, I’m not bad at the flute-o-phone, but no one is keeping track of that.

The latest song to encourage life in me and bring tears out of me is “Lead Me” by Ohio’s own, Sanctus Real.

It’s the story of a father who is maybe missing it at home, for the sake of “getting it” outside the home, related to work and pursuing his dreams.

He realizes how much his family needs his leadership, and in that, how much he needs God’s leadership.

This is a message that clearly resonates for me with my Gathering hat being firmly on my head.

Here is the video slide show that goes with this.  Be as blessed as I know you will.

http://tinyurl.com/y5sg4av

To make it easier for you (feel free to copy and paste for your use), the full lyrics are below …

Sanctus Real – “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone